Behind Closed Pages of From The Inside Out

When I was a little kid, I would buy 3-packs of these shiny notebooks. They all had a scaled patten to them, and shimmered in a vaguely different colour; one a little more green, one a little blue. and the other a bit pink, but otherwise they were identical. I got these and would make a project for myself - write 3 different books that must fill this cover to cover and are a story that justify the particular shade that embodied the cover style.

     The green one was a dark alien horror story, in the vein to what I at 8 years old understood about the Alien films from the video games my dad had let me play of it, and the idea of body-horror really fascinated me (go figure, right?). But I gave up halfway through as didn't feel I could convey the true fear I was envisioning at the time and where to keep it going.

     The pink one I recall being a rom-com with a really convoluted plot that went a bit everywhere to make a message and poke at things that irritated me as a kid seeing over and over again in those particular films.

   And finally the blue one was the biggest changer for me. It was a detective thriller staring a character called David Rivanstart, and started off as a simple James Bond wannabe novel, but about 1/3rd of the way through it shifted gears into a more Indiana Jones affair. The idea of blending genres has really stuck with me, and particularly trying to take concepts that shouldn't mesh actually blend naturally.

In short I have had a lot of dream jobs in my life, but behind them all was writing, and finally some 16 years after the adventures of Rivanstart got their start, thanks to Sahara Fleetwood-Beresford, Lorna Haymes, Victoria Marie and Gem Will and their #GetYourBellyOut campaign, that dream became a reality with my first published book; From The Inside Out.

The idea behind it came about at a BBQ. One thing I would have loved would have been to have something I could read and know that I was not alone out there with all this confusing crap that had started in my life. Just to know I was not alone like this group had really shown me already. Encouraged, I got to work and through a complete lack of confidence in myself I asked for other contributors. I figured if no-one else showed interest that would be the end of it, a stupid idea like many others. But no, several showed interest, and a couple of them followed through and gave me their stories and now I had thrown the ball into my own court and I had to get to work. 

Writing for it was an absolute nightmare at times. What do I talk about? So many traumatic events (particularly during the summer that birthed my condition) but I didn't want this to be a pity story, nor too specific to me. This was about experiences with the unknown -  the unnamed feeling that tore us inside, so only the necessary. 

After a few months and a couple of dropouts in the project, the book got published, and has been met with fantastic fanfare thus far. Within the first two months of it's release with no official promotion or physical appearances in retail stores, more than 200 copies have been sold. And the best part? Storie of copies being stolen by staff from workplaces who aren't sufferers but want an insight to understand a little more, readers who have broken down in tears and been unable to even finish reading, and everyone who has claimed to be affected by it. My own personal result to this, is that I managed to boost my own confidence and approach a film-maker called Brad Jones about a novelisation for one of his own films Midnight Heat. He loved the idea, and that has been my current project inbetween my own. 

But that doesn't mean I am remotely done with this. The project goal is to spread as much awareness as I can, and that is what I will continue to do. Next is a series of flyers, which will be adorned with the #BookSelfie results that became something of a fad during it's initial release, showing the range of readers and sufferers alike for hospitals around any areas I can, directly hoping to find those who have started to suffer and feel more alone than they ever should. 

 

And next will be an updated edition, possibly with a little extra content, in a smaller more standard size, designed to be more aesthetically appealing when dealing with WH Smiths and Waterstones about a contract with them.

I write this blog not to brag about my own book, but to explain whre it comes from, and why it means so much to me to get this opportunity, and the good it's existence can do and hopefully will continue to do so. I love all 4 of the girls for this, and any extra donations to the CCUK pot my royalties can help with, I will continue to do so for as long as I can!

The #GetYourBellyOut community can be found on Twitter and Facebook.

The book is currently available from Amazon in paperback & Kindle format  http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1500671223/ref=gno_cart_title_0?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE